Plan Ahead for the Holidays

Plan Ahead for the Holidays
Monday, November 18, 2024 by Becky Cerling Powers

Categories: Parent Powerline

I almost fainted that long ago December day – standing in line at the post office, over eight months pregnant, with two preschoolers in tow.

Holiday planning: No one offered me their place in line

I stood – and the kids squirmed – for over an hour to mail gifts so that my far-off family would get their presents in time for Christmas Day.

A couple days later, I went into labor and delivered an eight-and-a-half-pound boy three weeks early.

Wasn’t that foolish?

I was a pregnant mother of preschoolers. Why couldn’t I accept my physical limits? Make fewer demands on myself?

I didn’t have to mail gifts before Christmas that year.

I could have waited until February.

Or asked my husband to run the holiday errands. Or skipped buying gifts altogether.

My relatives would have understood.

And if they didn’t, shame on them.

But the holidays were upon me, and I was responding to the pressures of the season, too busy trying to survive the onslaught to think straight.

So take it from me, if you don’t plan for the Christmas-Hanukkah season, you’ll get engulfed by it.

The time for thinking about it is now, before it’s here.

So…how can you tame December?

Here are a few suggestions:

First, write down your priorities.

What do you want during the holidays? To have a perfectly decorated home? To spend time with your family and give your children rich memories? To celebrate the miracle of Hanukkah or the birth of Jesus?

What is most important to you and your family? Which parts of the season do you look forward to?

Which parts do you dread? Sort it out on paper

Second, plan with those priorities in mind

Write down all your expected activities for the holidays. Then check: are those activities compatible with your priorities? And…are they realistic?

Circle the activities that will help you accomplish your goals – activities that help you spend family time together, for example, or that help build your children’s understanding of the family faith.

Then – it’s a free country, after all! – choose to let less important activities slide.

This is also the time to plan ahead for solutions to your usual holiday problems.

The part of the holidays that one mom and dad dreaded was their extended family’s annual party at an aunt’s.

People drank too much and then got into loud arguments that caused hurt feelings.

This couple wanted to build strong family relationships with their children and emphasize the religious significance of the

season. The clan party helped them do neither. So, they diplomatically offered to host the party as a no-alcohol event.

“But it’s just not Christmas without the booze,” the family protested.

Their solution?

That year, the relatives had their usual party at the aunt’s, and the couple took their children to a church event. Then, after the holidays, they invited their relatives over for dinner, family by family.

With that plan, they emphasized the season's significance to their children while still building family relationships.

Third, figure out your limits and accept them.

Time and energy stretch only so far. Nerves can only take so much.

It’s better to manage a few simple projects well than to allow yourself to be stampeded over a cliff by advertisers, media, relatives, peers, and your own childhood memories and wishes.

Do you work full-time? Are you pregnant or expecting a new baby? Dealing with family illness? Caregiving an elderly relative?

Take it from me: you need to lower your expectations to match the year’s circumstances.

The family budget has limits, too. List all the people you plan to give a gift, decide how much you can spend on each one without going into debt, and stick to your decision.

Learn to say no.

Practice in front of a mirror if you have to.

If you feel guilty saying no, even when you have excellent reasons for saying it, you need to figure out why. A friend, therapist or pastor may be able to help you.

Set an early date for adult-only projects

If you haven’t finished crocheting that afghan or constructing that wreath one week before the kids are out of school, decide ahead of time that you will just quit the project and ride the tide.

When you lay aside preoccupation with your own holiday projects, you can relax and enjoy holiday projects, programs and other activities with your children.

The Christmas-Hanukkah season comes but once a year.