In our files sat the medical reports stating that I would never be able to have a child. Yet against all odds, God had answered our prayers. A little one was on the way. We were ecstatic with joy!

Then six months into this miracle pregnancy, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and was immediately scheduled for a radical mastectomy.

At the time we were living in Guadalajara, Mexico, far from our families.

As news of the diagnosis spread among the Christian community, the family of God in Mexico comforted us. These precious brothers and sisters in Christ streamed by our apartment to hug us, weep with us, and pray for us. Never had I experienced such an outpouring of love.

After the last visitor left, Fred and I tried to sleep, but no sleep came. We had too many questions. Would our miracle baby survive? Would its mother live?

Fear held our hearts in a vise-like grip.

As the dark hours slowly passed, Fred and I reminded each other of favorite Bible verses. We prayed and cried.

Then in the wee hours of the morning I opened the songbook to a hymn whose words seemed to have been written just for us in this crisis:

"How firm a foundation, you saints of the Lord

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!

What more can He say than to you He has said,

To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed,

For I am your God and will still give you aid;

I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand

Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,

My grace all sufficient shall be your supply;

The flame shall not hurt you, I only design

Your dross to consume and your gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose

I will not, I will not desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!"

The Lord used these words to steady us through my surgery and recovery.

Two months later a precious, healthy baby boy arrived. We named him Jonathan, which means "Jehovah has given". God gave him to us when we could not have children. And He gave him to us again by miraculously sparing his life through my cancer surgery.

This hymn is based on a Bible passage:

“But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:1-2).

A prayer for today

"Dear God, thank You for being with us in fiery trials and for never forsaking us. Thank You for using hard times to draw us closer to You, to strengthen our faith, and to refine our character. We praise You for Your faithfulness to us in good times and bad. Amen."

©1998 Paula Kortkamp Combs

On Sundays… remember that you are your child’s earliest reflection of God. If you are dependable and trustworthy, your child will naturally trust God. However, if he can’t trust significant adults in his life like parents, he may have a hard time trusting God, too.

On Mondays… don’t forget that children need to be physically close to their parents all their lives, not just when they are babies. Cuddling and rough-house play says love to small children. A touch on the shoulder sends love signals to a teen. And everyone needs hugs every day.

On Tuesdays… keep in mind throughout the week that unless you set aside many other demands, you will inevitably neglect your children’s deep need for your focused attention.

On Wednesdays… make sure you always have an easy reference first aid manual handy to help you know what to do in an emergency. And make sure that children’s caregivers know where the first aid manual is kept.

On Thursdays… check your attitude when you are training children to do chores. If you complain and scold while working, you discourage your children and sap their energy. Your approach to chore training teaches children attitudes toward work in general. A positive attitude can teach them that messes are a part of life, and the best thing to do with a mess is to deal with it efficiently and then move on.

On Fridays… remember that children do better when you tell them what to expect. So explain beforehand how you expect your children to behave in a store, or how you expect them to treat other children as guests in their home. If you forget to explain beforehand, and your children are disappointing you, then call them aside in private to explain what you expect of them.

On Saturdays… remember that you can provide a good foundation for continuing communication in the family if you keep reading aloud as a family activity even after your children can read themselves. Reading good books as a family does more than help children in school. It establishes bonds of shared adventure and experience. It leads naturally to talks about ideas, hopes, feelings, worries, dreams and all the stuff of friendship.

My mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1962 when I was eight years old. When she passed away in October 1997, the nurses and doctors at the hospital were amazed to find out that she had had MS for 35 years. They said they didn’t know anyone who had lived that long with the disease. They credited my father for the way he had taken care of her.

Both my parents deserve a lot of credit for the way they handled that tragedy.

Mom was a 1950’s style housewife, a stay-at-home mother who was active in our church and school. She was only 33 and was raising three young children when she started losing control of her legs and arms and was diagnosed with MS.

Today there are drugs that can help control the effects of the disease, but none of that was available then. By age 43, she was unable to use her legs or right arm and had only partial use of her left arm.

She was an invalid in a wheelchair for the last 25 years of her life.

Since Mom couldn’t physically stand to cook or wash dishes or do laundry, it meant that the three of us kids had to work around the house under her supervision. It turned out to be good for us because we all learned how to take care of ourselves.

As kids, we did our share of griping, but Dad told us, “This is the way it is. You can complain if you want to, but this is how it is.”

Mom herself never complained.

She was never bitter and never played on our pity. She did what she could. One of my really good memories growing up was Mom reading to us at lunch time when we came home from school for lunch. 

My father was a traveling salesman for an electrical wholesale company. He had plenty of opportunity to cheat on Mom. He could have rationalized it because of her physical condition. But when Dad got married, he made a vow to be faithful “in sickness or in health,” and he meant it. Dad always kept his word, and he was true to Mom.

After Mom became bound to her wheelchair, Dad never wanted to put her in a nursing home. He hired companions to come during the day and stay with her while he was at work. Here in El Paso, it’s easy to find a maid, but hard to find a companion – someone who can lift a person from a wheelchair to the toilet without hurting her. Most the time Mom had good companions who cared about her as a person.

That was an added expense to Dad, but he never begrudged it.

Through the tragedy of Mom’s illness, my parents taught me the importance of keeping your vows and the importance of approaching problems with a good attitude. You can approach them with anger or despair or with their attitude: “Here’s the problem, and there’s no perfect solution, but we’ll do the best we can.”

I keep seeing people who make the worst out of a bad situation, by using drugs or alcohol, always having a bad attitude.

Both my parents made the best out of a bad situation.

When Mom died, my parents had been married 48 years.

What ancient wisemen said:

“A man cannot be established through wickedness, but the righteous cannot be uprooted” (Proverbs 12:3 NIV)

A prayer for today

“Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.”