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I started drinking when I was 14. I worked in a restaurant and with the money I got from tips I would ask friends to get me beer. I don’t know why. It’s just that the beer would call me: “You need beer. You need beer.” 

My son was born in 1983, when I was 33 years old. I was a single mom. Gradually I started drinking more and more.

Drinking to escape depression

When my son was 13, I went through a really bad depression, and I thought what would heal me was to drink and smoke and not care about anything else. Before I started to work, I’d smoke two cigarettes and drink three beers so I’d feel OK. 

Then I’d work.

After work I would buy another six- pack, sometimes wine and whiskey. To me it was a good feeling. But I wouldn’t take care of my son, and I was hurting my body. 

I worked at a country club. When I’d get a break, I’d go to the bathroom and steal a beer to drink. The manager finally realized it and said, “You better stop or we’ll have to fire you.” The club warned me three times, and then they fired me. 

I had money saved up.

I started going every two days to the bank to get money and buy beer. I wasn’t eating, just drinking. I passed out and my mom called an ambulance. I was in a coma and dreaming three days.

In my dreams I prayed, “My Lord, I beg of you, help me.”

Then my Lord said, “Daughter, everyone loves you and needs you, especially your mom and your son. I want you to make up your mind whether it’s heaven or hell.” 

I stopped drinking, but things got worse

I was having seizures because my heart was so weak from all the alcohol and smoking. Then my dad and mom died, I got congestive heart failure, and I had another big depression.

 My neighbor, Tola, would visit me and insist for me to go to her church, but I wouldn’t go. Sometimes she’d see my house really dirty, and she would clean it.

In 2008 I saw two beautiful little girls, 12 or 13 years old, at the park. “Miss!” they greeted me. And they invited me to go to their church. 

It was Tola’s church 

So, I started going. I prayed, “My Jesus, I want to change.” After that when I went to church, it was like getting a gift from the Lord, like when I used to get dolls and toys at Christmas. 

One day a year later I started choking, and my whole body was shaking terribly. I started seeing things blurry and black. 

So I called the ambulance.

It was their sixth time to come for me. When they came, they said “We’ve never seen you this bad.” 

At 8 p.m. in the hospital, I closed my eyes and didn’t wake up until 10 p.m. the next night.

I had a cardiac arrest

For two days I would see my good Lord standing with his hands open, looking at me saying, “¡Hija, que todas te quieren!” 

When he told me “Daughter, everybody loves you,” my body felt light. It was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. The doctor said I woke with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face.

I felt like I was flying.

The nurse said, “Ay Señora, it must have been beautiful where you were!”

I had my EKG and they said “You’re doing great!” Then they sent me home.

Depression and Alchoholism: I think I’ll never forget it

I died at the hospital. I was blacking out in my house, but when I got to the hospital, that’s when I collapsed and went up there. He took out all the bad inside me, all my loneliness. 

Since I saw Jesus at the hospital, I don’t worry anymore. I live one day at a time. 

The Bible says

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). And Jesus taught “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). 

Today’s Prayer

I cry out to you, Jesus, to help me in my trouble. Change my attitude until I seek you with all my heart. Amen.

© 2019 Becky Cerling Powers, updated 2025

Becky Cerling Powers is the author of Sticky Fingers, Sticky Minds: Quick Reads for Helping Kids Thrive, a Bathroom Book for people who want to be better parents but live such busy lives that they hardly have time to figure out how.