I have a wonderful neighbor. Actually, I have a whole bunch of wonderful neighbors, but this story is about just one of them, a young woman whose grandmother and grandfather, mother and father, uncles and aunts, brothers and cousins I have known now for 35 plus years, since we first moved to our house in El Paso.
Her name is Jessica. The thing about Jessica I like is that she is always there, always ready with a quick smile, a hello, an opinion, a thought. You can depend on her. You don’t have to guess what she is thinking—she will tell you.
I can’t say that I know her really well. I know her more out of the corner of my eye, watching her come and go, watching her grow up. I went to her quinceñera. I missed her wedding though. We were out of town. She married her high school sweetheart. She was already in the Air Force, as both her brothers were too. They were stationed in Oklahoma.
Tragic news
After a time Jessica found out she was pregnant. She and her husband wanted a family. Everyone was excited. But then she found out that her baby girl had a syndrome. Some part of her wouldn’t develop and that would cause her to die very shortly after she was born. She might last an hour, not much more.
Jessica and her family are very private people so I have to imagine here some of what they were thinking or asking. There was some sense that, given the circumstances, it would be better to end the pregnancy. But that wasn’t possible. Jessica was too far along and she was too healthy. The pregnancy wouldn’t affect her health adversely and so there was no just cause for such a late term termination.
There was some hope, too, that she might miscarry. Those who loved her couldn’t bear the thought of Jessica being more and more deeply attached every day to a child who wouldn’t live.
Amaris Luz
But that’s not how it all fell out. Jessica was strong and healthy and being the straight-forward girl she is, she carried the baby almost to term and delivered her without a C-section. Jessica and her husband named their daughter Amaris Luz. Amaris is from the Hebrew and it can mean alternately promised by God or God has said. And Luz, of course, is Spanish for light.
To deliver a baby in Spanish is dar a luz to give into the light, to bring to the light. All these things, Jessica and her husband did, bringing their gift into the light, no matter the consequences.
Amaris Luz lived for six hours and ten minutes, bringing light out of darkness. There to be present at her birth were her mother and father, her four grandparents, and a great grandmother. They welcomed Amaris into the world with all the love they held for her, surrounding her with it as her mother had nurtured and surrounded her with her own body, giving her a home and a place in this world for as she as long as she needed.
Jessica faced a hard choice, but I think that her decision to let her pregnancy take its course brought her and her husband comfort, even though their daughter died. I think that’s true because of the name they chose for their little girl, a name that brings glory to God and healing potential to their family.
What Jesus said
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4)
Today’s Prayer
“Dear Father, here is what I lost: _______________. And here is how I feel: _____________. I trust that You love me and You have more wisdom than I do for my life. Show me, I pray the gifts that You are giving me in spite of my losses, so that I can give You thanks. You can transform anything, so I look forward to seeing what You will do. Amen.”
© Lee Merrill Byrd 2009
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