Holiday planning: No one offered me their place in line

Wasn’t that foolish?

I could have waited until February.

And if they didn’t, shame on them.

So…how can you tame December?

First, write down your priorities.

Second, plan with those priorities in mind

Then – it’s a free country, after all! – choose to let less important activities slide.

People drank too much and then got into loud arguments that caused hurt feelings.

Their solution?

Third, figure out your limits and accept them.

Learn to say no.

Set an early date for adult-only projects

BUT IT COMES EVERY SINGLE YEAR!

Our son Erik was a visual learner who picked up the skill of reading quickly as a kindergartner after only two or three weeks of simple home phonics lessons. Once he “clicked” on reading, he read all the easy-to-read books he could find.

He usually read them many times.

I thought he was ready for something harder the summer after first grade. By then he read easy books fluently, and he had a hardy attention span. He could sit attentively for a half hour or more at a time while we read him long children’s classics like C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe at bedtime.

So I suggested he try reading The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum, a book he was familiar with because I had read it aloud.

He was ecstatic to find out he could read a novel-length book.

Every day, he reported his progress: “Mom, I’m on page 67!” or “Mom, I’ve read 200 pages!!”

Not every child is ready to tackle such hard books at age 7. Two equally bright children may reach reading readiness at different ages—even five or six years apart.

Our son Matt was a late bloomer who finally “clicked” on reading at age 10.

Yet he, too, was reading novel-length books within two years after he began reading.

For both boys, the key to moving on to the hard books was twofold. First, as parents we built up our children’s vocabulary by reading them many stories that were written well beyond their reading level.

Second, as newbie readers, the boys developed fluency by reading many easy books over and over.

Reading Fluency: Don’t rush kids into harder books too soon

Author and educator Ruth Beechick states that encouraging reading fluency is an important step that parents (and schools) tend to skip by pushing children on to harder and harder reading materials.

This is a mistake, she says, because reading lots of easy books helps developing young readers in several essential ways. First, it gives them practice with decoding skills until these skills become over-learned and automatic. It also helps them learn and relearn the common words that make up a large percentage of all books, including difficult ones.

 Reading Fluency: Reading lots of easy books helps children read more smoothly and rapidly

It also helps them develop comprehension, instead of losing the sense of a passage while struggling to deal with difficult vocabulary and decoding at the same time. Finally, reading lots of easy books helps youngsters find out that reading can be fun.

But what is an easy book? The answer varies from reader to reader.

Beechick explains that every child has three reading levels at all times:

·       A frustration level

·       A learning level

·      And a comfort level.

(These levels provide a way to rate books, not a way to rate individual children.)

She says to rate a book, mark off a section of about 100 words, and ask your child to read it to you aloud.

The frustration level

If your kiddo has trouble reading more than five words, the book is at that child’s frustration level. It has so many new words that the child cannot follow the sense of the story.

Avoid pushing kids to read at their frustration level. Set aside the book for a while.

Kids who are pressured to read books at their frustration level become reluctant readers. It makes them want to give up on reading.

The learning level

If your kids miss three to five words in the 100-word section, the book is at their learning level.

This is a book for you to read together. Take turns reading every other paragraph or page. Whenever Junior encounters a problem with a word, you can help him solve it.

The comfort level

If your kiddo misses two words or less in the 100-word section, the book is at their comfort level. It’s an easy book. They can read it independently and understand the story well.

It’s a good book for a child to read alone or to a younger brother or sister. Reading many books at this comfort level will improve a child’s reading fluency.

Here’s how to teach kids to test themselves when choosing library books.

·   Tell them to read a page in the book (assuming that a page will have from 100 to 200 words on it) and

·   Use their fingers to count the words they don’t know.

·   Whenever they run out of fingers on one hand, the book is probably too hard.

If the simplest books in the library are on kids’ frustration level, it means they don’t really know how to read yet.

In that case, you need to back up and figure out whether or not your child has reached reading readiness yet.

(Beechick’s book, The Three R’s, includes information about ways to tell when a child is ready to read.) If your kiddo is ready, you can try to teach them to read using a good phonics program.

However, if your kiddo shows symptoms of dyslexia, such as

• writing letters and figures backwards

• confusing the order of letters in words

• (and look up “dyslexia symptoms” online for a more comprehensive list)

you’ll need more help.

 Testing in the schools is uneven. Parents are more likely to obtain the most up to date testing for dyslexia by asking their pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist to address that specific issue.

 The Orten Gillingham system appears to be the one phonics reading system that has shown proven success with people who struggle with reading.

 Resource: The Three R’s by Ruth Beechick includes a reading section (telling how and when to begin phonics and how to develop comprehension skills) a language section (showing how to develop written language skills naturally) and an arithmetic section (explaining how to teach children to understand math concepts). Beechick explains the reading process simply. She gives directions for providing reading readiness activities, introducing phonics, teaching children to read using real books, testing children’s reading level, and tutoring spelling. ISBN13:978-0-88062-173-1 

© Becky Cerling Powers 2021

Reprint with attribution only (www.beckypowers.com)

You can find more parenting insights from Becky Cerling Powers in Sticky Fingers, Sticky Minds: quick reads for helping kids thrive in the Bookstore

 I’ve always loved my sleep. And once I drifted off, I wanted to stay drifted off. I hated being woken up from sound sleep.

But then I began having babies. Who got sick at night. Who fussed. Who needed comfort at inconvenient times.

Being grumpy only made the situation worse, and anyway…

How could I be grumpy with a baby in distress and feel OK about it?

It was especially hard for me the year after our third child, Matthew, was born. We had
two preschool energizer bunnies and a new baby for me to keep up with during the day,
and my husband was frequently gone nights, traveling out of town with his work.

Even when Dennis was in town, we felt I should be the one to get up with the little ones
at night since he had to get to work in the morning. While I, theoretically, could sleep in.
We didn’t realize that an undiagnosed thyroid condition added to my tiredness.

Caring for Babies: Overcoming Sleep Deprivation with Gratitude

How could I hear that little wail, push my protesting body out of bed, and come up with the loving patience I needed to comfort my child?

First, a bachelor writer helped me.

C.S. Lewis advised his readers to be grateful to Jesus during everyday challenges. With his wisdom, I learned to pray when I heard that little wail: “Thank You, Jesus, for dying
on the cross to save me.”

“My little bit of suffering at getting up right now is nothing compared to what You did for me. Thank You for suffering for my sake.”

And then there were the nights – so many of them! – when the baby was sick and kept waking over and over.

That was when my mother helped me.

“‘All to Jesus, I Surrender’ makes a good lullaby,” she told me.

So I learned to settle down in the rocking chair with the baby and begin to surrender:

“Jesus, I don’t get many opportunities to praise you at 2 in the morning,” I’d say. “So, I’m
going to take this as my opportunity.”

Then I would sing that old familiar hymn:
All to Jesus I surrender (All? Even my sleep? Yes, Lord, even my sleep)
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live. 
 

Refrain: I surrender all, I surrender all;
         All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
         I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.
 
All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

After I sang the surrender song, I’d begin singing praise songs to the Lord.

Over and over, time after time, the presence of God would fill the room.

I lost track of time. My fussy baby stopped fussing and fell dead asleep in my arms. But
I’d keep singing. It was so good to be in the presence of the Lord. To know His peace in
my chaos.

Then finally, sleepiness would overwhelm peace.

I put the baby back to bed, slipped into my own bed, and then – no longer irritated, no
longer upset, but still tired – I drifted off to sleep.

It happened many times, thanks to a song.

Here’s a story/journal prompt for you:

Is there a song that calms and speaks to you? When? Why?
Or maybe there is something that bugs you, something that happens over and over that
troubles you. Is this something you need to surrender to Jesus? Would the words to this
song help you think through that hurt, habit or hang-up?

Try writing and reflecting on it in a journal or notebook. It might be useful to include
the date, turn it into prayer and come back to it one day.
 
(Note: Judson W. Van DeVenter is the author of “All to Jesus, I Surrender.” His hymn is
in the public domain.)
 

© 2019 Becky Cerling Powers, updated 2024

Reprint with attribution only: https://beckypowers.com
For more parenting insights from Becky Cerling Powers see her blog at
www.beckypowers.com and her parenting book Sticky Fingers, Sticky Minds: quick

reads for helping kids thrive in the Bookstore